Friday, July 31, 2015

On Teaching People How To Treat You

I'm loved in an incredible way by a lovely woman.

She routinely tells me she appreciates me and I frequently tell her I love her.

This morning I shared with her a minor house-project I completed (that might otherwise go unnoticed because of location).  The conversation went like this.

Me:  "I finished that foam insulation install yesterday and just today insured all the gaps were sealed using a sandable bonding product I'll seal in around the edges, then sand another day." 
Wife: Silence as she was applying make-up. 
Me, speaking as if I were my wife:  "Oh! Thank you, Sweetie.  I'm so thankful to have a husband who gets projects done and knows how to fix things." 
Wife, then said lovingly, "Oh! Thank you, Sweetie.  I'm so thankful to have a husband who gets projects done and knows how to fix things."

My wife very likely would have told me thanks without me "telling her what to say" as she routinely speaks with kindness to me.

And yet, I thought to myself, too how good it felt for her to say those words back to me.  She did not "parrot" them back nor "sarcastically" repeat my words.

She stopped her make-up application and said with kindness only what I said.

And it caused me to remember two things:

(1) We all need affirmation - often!

(2) There is nothing wrong with - and perhaps even something very important about - teaching someone how you want to be treated.  Teaching someone how to love you for what you need to hear.

I'm thankful to be so wonderfully loved and I hope, loving.

Don't be afraid to teach those you love how to love you.  And learn to, how to love them! Words of affirmation and love are meaningful to every human!