Thriving with newness in relationships.

“Go home tonight and if you live with somebody, notice five new things about that person. . . . The person will start to come alive for you again.”

- Dr. Ellen Langer, in her conversation with Krista Tippett On Being: “Science of Mindlessness and Mindfulness”

The Monk Manifesto - OnBeing & Christine Valters Paintner

Longer reflection is at The Monk Manifesto: Seven Principles for Living with Deep Intention.

There you will read more about these intentions:

1. I commit to finding moments each day for silence and solitude, to make space for another voice to be heard, and to resist a culture of noise and constant stimulation.
2. I commit to radical acts of hospitality by welcoming the stranger both without and within. I recognize that when I make space inside my heart for the unclaimed parts of myself, I cultivate compassion and the ability to accept those places in others.
3. I commit to cultivating community by finding kindred spirits along the path, soul friends with whom I can share my deepest longings, and mentors who can offer guidance and wisdom for the journey.
4. I commit to cultivating awareness of my kinship with creation and a healthy asceticism by discerning my use of energy and things, letting go of what does not help nature to flourish.
5. I commit to bringing myself fully present to the work I do, whether paid or unpaid, holding a heart of gratitude for the ability to express my gifts in the world in meaningful ways.
6. I commit to rhythms of rest and renewal through the regular practice of Sabbath and resist a culture of busyness that measures my worth by what I do.
7. I commit to a lifetime of ongoing conversion and transformation, recognizing that I am always on a journey with both gifts and limitations.

Summer Reading 2015

Summer Reading in random order:

One Million Steps by Bing West.  An interesting "insider" view of war.

The Road to Character by David Brooks.  Many chapters were worthy of a second reading.

50 Self Help Classics by Tom Butler-Bowdon.  Good audiobook for the road, as each chapter was a different focus.  

How Successful People Win by John Maxwell.  I have learned from Maxwell for years and while his work is redundant over time, it is still good reading.

Food: A Love Story by Jim Gaffigan.  Some funny.

Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris.  More funny.

I'm a Stranger Here Myself by Bill Bryson.  I love his style and appreciate his humor, especially in cultural and travel contexts.

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee.  I was hoping for more.  Glad I read it.

Half the Sky:  Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas D. Kristof.  I value his great work in humanitarian aid an advocacy building work.

The Dressmaker:  Five Sisters, One Remarkable Family, and the Woman Who Risked Everything to Keep them Safe by Khair Khana.  Learning new things about other cultures in texts.

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead by Brene' Brown.  Inspiring.  Worth a 2nd read.

The Theft of Memory: Losing My Father, One Day At A Time by Jonathan Kozol.  An interesting biographical and scientific exploration into the way the mind works as it fails.

A Path Appears: Transforming Lives, Creating Community  by Nicholas Kristof.  Again.  Good work.

Open Heart by Elie Wiesel.  Not what I was expecting and yet moving to know more of Wiesel's story.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo.  Read this before I knew she was "becoming" famous.  Think she's on to many good concepts!

Empty Mansions by Bill Dedman.  One of the most "Oh!My!Word!" books I've read.  

G.I. Brides by Duncan Barrett.  A human portrait to another time.

Finding Zero by Amir D. Aczel.  Math and history.  Interesting.

Alexander the Great by Paul Cartledge.  Excellent reading.

In the Heart of the Sea by Nathaniel Philbrick.  Enjoyable reading - discovery of American subcultures and the history of whaling.

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do by Amy Morin.  Good reading, yet, easy to summarize in a simple Amazon.com review.

Family Portraits:  Character Studies in 1 and 2 Samuel by Randy McCracken.  One of the "most favorite" books I've read as Rev. McCracken and I have read "all the same people" and think most of the same thoughts - though I still learned from his interpretation in meaningful ways.

From Earth to Heaven:  A Literary Study of Elijah Stories in the Book of Kings by Moshe Garsiel.  Also great insight into literary and dynamic issues, a super read.

David, King of Israel, And Caleb in Biblical Memory.  I was overdue to read this book, and am always thankful for new insights into David studies.

Ecclesiastes by Peter Enns.  Re-reading this in order to come back to understand the meaning and meaningless of life as viewed from the perspective of Qohelet.

On Teaching People How To Treat You

I'm loved in an incredible way by a lovely woman.

She routinely tells me she appreciates me and I frequently tell her I love her.

This morning I shared with her a minor house-project I completed (that might otherwise go unnoticed because of location).  The conversation went like this.

Me:  "I finished that foam insulation install yesterday and just today insured all the gaps were sealed using a sandable bonding product I'll seal in around the edges, then sand another day." 

Wife: Silence as she was applying make-up. 

Me, speaking as if I were my wife:  "Oh! Thank you, Sweetie.  I'm so thankful to have a husband who gets projects done and knows how to fix things." 

Wife, then said lovingly, "Oh! Thank you, Sweetie.  I'm so thankful to have a husband who gets projects done and knows how to fix things."

My wife very likely would have told me thanks without me "telling her what to say" as she routinely speaks with kindness to me.

And yet, I thought to myself, too how good it felt for her to say those words back to me.  She did not "parrot" them back nor "sarcastically" repeat my words.

She stopped her make-up application and said with kindness only what I said.

And it caused me to remember two things:

(1) We all need affirmation - often!

(2) There is nothing wrong with - and perhaps even something very important about - teaching someone how you want to be treated.  Teaching someone how to love you for what you need to hear.

I'm thankful to be so wonderfully loved and I hope, loving.

Don't be afraid to teach those you love how to love you.  And learn to, how to love them! Words of affirmation and love are meaningful to every human!

Life's Complexity - Glad I'm In Shape

Life's been too complex.

Some great stuff going on, too,  to share later.

I'll be back here soon.  Waiting out a few things.

Right now I'm glad that I exercise routinely to stay in shape.  The benefits of being in shape allow me to "do things" on the "spur of the moment" when I get a unique opportunity to be outdoors.

Thankful for the outdoors and good health.