Stewardship Lessons and the Vacuum

My daughter did not understand why, after the house was empty and all of our items were packed, I left the vacuum behind and deliberately went back into every room to vacuum.

"It's not the way I was raised," I said.

"And it's not the way I'm raising you."

"You take care of things, leave things clean when you're finished with them, and steward the resources entrusted to you with the greatest possible care."

I didn't make her vacuum, I simply took care of it.

I hope it's a lesson she remembers for life.

Teaching our Children (Non)Violence

I stood outside the door of renown theologian, Stanley Hauerwas.

He has many diverse articles posted outside his office - including this memorable one about how we inadvertently teach our children how to be violent.

Here's an excerpt:

The (four or five year old) boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, "Mama, I couldn't find a switch, but here's a rock that you can throw at me." All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child's point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone.

 . . . too often we fail to feel situations 'from the child's point of view,' and that failure leads us to teach our children other than what we think we're teaching them.

From The Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children.  The aTLC is dedicated to supporting parents, caregivers, professionals, and policymakers in practicing the art and science of nurturing children.

Wrong Perception, Miscommunication, & Displaced Anger (Loss/Fear)

Thich Nhat Hanh has been influential for decades.

Many years ago I came across a portion of his teaching through OnBeing, and have recently read several books authored by "Brother Thay."  

In the great interview I cited here, Brother Thay talks about how all problems in life boil down to our wrong perception, mis(sed)[ing] communication and displaced anger (usually as the result of some fear or loss.)  

I've shared this with my own children - and with others.

If you find yourself in conflict, trouble, dislocation or difficulty now - perhaps you should ask yourself these simple questions:

1) In what way might I know have a wrong perception about this person/situation/issue?

2) In what way might my communication - both in sharing and in listening - be shaped by something that is missed or missing in miscommunication that needs to be made right?

3)  In what way might this conflict be about some loss, grief, or fear that is about some issue of anger that is not specific to this situation, that I am inadvertently bringing to this situation?  What am I *really* angry about?

Commencement and Summer

Two of our children graduate High School this year. Ceremonies and Parties this weekend, and in two weekends!

They'll commence to new transitions and new life. 

Excited for what this means.

I have at least 30 books in a stack - plus about 15 file folders - representing the reading & research that will commence for me very soon.

Excited!

Training in Stewardship

I've been driving a truck with an engine that knocks loudly - for nearly two years.  I only drive it infrequently, but I did not run out and buy a new one when it first "started going out on me." 

About a year ago, our daughter bought her first car, a fairly"beaten-up" Hyundai.  She paid cash for it.  A few days ago, she sold it for 83% of what she paid for it!  Or, said another way, she drove it for 11+ months at an average of $13 dollars per month!  And, she had money to pay cash for a newer, better car.  I'm so very proud of her.

I hope these lessons in stewardship shape our kids for a lifetime.